-1-
(to all tedious, tiresome and terrible kids;
beware of misanthropic santa's bearing booby-trapped gifts. ..)
'WE WILL ROCK YOU'
Yes, that toy's off that nice old santa -
that's right, dear, the one in the store.
What, the real one takes a dinner-break?
Well of course I've seen him before
How should I know how many warts on his nose -
what do you mean, he's got a glass eye?
Does it matter, Keith, if he wears false-teeth -
Yes dear, mommy makes a useless spy.
No, he cant be an old impostor, dear -
Dont be daft, there cant be two.'
What, you interfered with santa's beard
and it's phoney: stuck with glue?
Well...perhaps he's doing the real one a favour -
perhaps the job is shared on a rota?
Well.. with a task that big, the other wears a wig
to help santa with his quota?
Shhh! Mommy must see to the forcemeat now -
now where did I put that bread...?
Now, not a single word whilst I stuff the bird
or mommy'll be stuffing you instead.!
Now shut-up, Keith, go and play with your toy -
Well, open it's wrapper and see.!
Well, cut that bit, you awtul twit -
Now, for Pete's sake, please stop pestering me.!
No, I dont know what that lever's for,
Or the colour-code for those wires -
Why that knob is steel - why it has eight wheels -
Well, press that button marked 'fire'!
Oh, go away, our Keith, take the thing outside -
and dont dare give that door a slam.'
Why this: why that - he's been a nosy prat
since he grew too big for his (BLAMM!!!!)
-Sterl
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-2-
'WE WILL ROCK YOU...'
What's wrong with that toy, Belinda?
Dont you like your new dollie-pram?
But you said, “sky~blue with a canopy too”
Oh, I see, It's not like Pam's
Never mind, she's not got a washer like yours
With a heater and motorised-mangle.
Fancy that: young Pat has an automat
With a drier - oh how new fangled.!
Well, you'll like that nurses outfit I bought you
It's just like Jenny Proctor's.
Oh, Lorraine Cope's has a stethoscope -
Well, somebody has to be “Doctor”.
Oh-what-a-nice-little-dollie-off-Santa!
With a ring you pull at the back.
What pretty blue eyes - why it's quite a size -
It must be the pick of his sack.'
Dont slam it down like that, Belinda:
I dont care if Judy's is two feet tall!
I dont care if Nancy's pee's its panties:
It's a pretty little doll: not a medicine ball.!
I dont care if Shelley Kelly's does whoopsies -
Keep quiet you ungrateful madam!
(What a bloody farce, she'd want a monkey's arse
if she heard all the other kids had 'em!!)
Now clear up that litter on the floor, my girl;
Now put that dolly in the pram -
It'll never talk, but you can take it walks
That's it-in the street - now scram!
Lord, what a sulky little bit she is
And she's given that pram such a prang.
She'd have cause to pout if I gave her a clout,
or I fetched her ear such a (BANNNNGGG!!!!!)
-Sterl
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- 3 -
WE WILL ROCK YOU
What's that you're giving the baby, Wayne?
Now I dont want to hear any lies!
Why you little sod, they're chilli-pods
No wonder baby cries!
And stop plaguing that defenceless spider -
just let the poor thing be:
No, he's not like you, he cant walk on two -
S'pose he'll have to make do with three.
And take off those spurs when riding the dog -
-The oven smells vile - what's in it?
Why, you poisonous prat, it's the bloody cat -
get it out - right now - this minute!
And why have you tied up the budgie -
Is that a hangman's noose 'round his neck.!?
He still wont speak now the tape's off his beak -
you've made him a nervous wreck!
Go and play with that nice toy of Santa's -
-Elsewhere - in the other room
He's gone - oh good - now I'll see to the food -
If the cat hasn't spoiled it (BOOMMMM!!!)
-Sterl
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